Monday, April 29, 2013

Oh My Lecturer...

Some say that my teaching is nonsense. Others call it lofty but impractical. But to those who have looked inside themselves, this nonsense makes perfect sense. And to those who put it into practice, this loftiness has roots that go deep. - Lao-Tzu

Another class ended. A new one will begin shortly. I beg to differ with some of my colleagues. A lecturer is not a teacher. We should be passionate about not teaching, but in facilitating learning. A good lecturer creates in a student a sense of self that lasts a lifetime. The lecture should go beyond what is stated in the curriculum. In other words, a lecturer should be able to create independence. To do this, passion is necessary in sustaining a certain level of energy and excitement in every lecture conducted. In the old days, I often asked myself whether I had made the right choice in switching to become a lecturer. But then, I always had outstanding mentors since the day I did my degree. I remembered how interesting the lectures I had with Jim and Ronda back when I was in Mizzou, and how they were able to engage the students simply through their deep knowledge of the subject matter and their teaching styles. They insisted I called them by their first names even though they are both professors. Their classes were always done in a very relaxed and informal environment. Jim had always shared interesting stories in class. He had also waited patiently for me to adjust calling him ‘Jim’ in the beginning of the semester. Ronda on the other hand portrayed herself as a friend instead of a lecturer. She even congratulated me when I received my Ph.D. Both of them became so intrigued of the Malaysian students that they actually did a research on the Malaysian leaders. In the course of that research, I became their informal advisor. Interesting, eh? I remembered also how I enjoyed the energetic classes of Tn Hj Yaakob and Prof Zainal here in UPM. They not only teach, but inspire as well. Of course Tn Hj never could remember my name correctly. At one time I became Nadia. Other times, Delilah. Wow…

All in all, these wonderful people have demonstrated that lecturing is not only about imparting knowledge. Instead, it is about engaging the students. A great lecturer should be a person who is approachable, and to whom students know they can go with any concerns or even to share a funny story. Part of what makes them great lecturers is that they too are willing to learn. They are not threatened by the questions their students asked because they are also lifelong learners. Well, various articles will be able to tell you the many traits of great lecturers. As for me, I just hope that for every 14 weeks I spent with my students, I would be able to touch their lives as they touch mine.

There are two kinds of teachers: the kind that fill you with so much quail shot that you can't move, and the kind that just gives you a little prod behind and you jump to the skies.
― Robert Frost

Monday, April 22, 2013

Life is Full of Promises

Life is full of promises. When people look at me, they normally reflect to who I am now and what I have become. Unless they really know me and are really close to me, only then they will be able to understand the challenges and hardships I have experienced in life. I am never someone who is destined to achieve something easily. Compared to my friends or even my husband, my journey is more challenging; physically and emotionally. When my friends need only to read once in order to get good grades, I on the other hand had to read at least three times just to stand equal. When all the future scholars from UPM were approved to further their studies to overseas by JPA, my application was the only one that got rejected due to a misunderstanding on the department that I presented. The list goes on and on and on. I cried all the time for all the frustrations I had experienced, and for my failures. Still I am proud of who I am even if others don’t. I believe that it is my failures that make me a person I am today. I believe that it is my ability to stay resilient towards all obstacles that contributes to my personality. To all my children and my students, please do not be afraid to open your mind to every possibility in life. Cherish the happy moments and learn from your mistakes. All these are what make us human.

Monday, October 15, 2012

I Am Who I Am

Today, I received the result of a personality test that I once did a few months back. Among the describing words of my personality are ‘influential, persuasive, confident, friendly, self-starter, decisive, mobile, active, alert, opinionated, persistent, and independent.’ The descriptions sound fair to me. With these kinds of traits, you might want to ask me why I am not yet an Associate Professor (AP). Believe me when I said that sometimes I do wonder about it myself. In a world that is so full of competitions, how can I not? But if you think deeper, you would find that the decision is really not mine to make. If Allah would have wanted it to happen, it would have, and not a second sooner, not a second later. Throughout the course of my life, Verse 82 in Surah Ya-Sin (Chapter 36) in which it was said - “Surely His Command, when He wills a thing, is only to say to it: Be! ("kun!" !كن), and it is! (fayakun فيكن)” - have given me a reason not to feel depressed when things do not go my way. So, when Husny died of a lung cancer before finishing his Ph.D., I take it as a sign that it is still not time yet for me to move up the ladder. The thing that we crave may not be the best thing for us. Doesn’t that phrase sound familiar to you? Oh, well, ever since I was young, success never comes to me easily. I always had to study or work twice as much just to stand equal with the others. Over time, I kind of get used to it. I hope my belief will continue to give me the strength I need to withstand all the challenges that I have to endure in this life. I would like to continue believing that not getting my AP does not make me a failure. Not getting a good number of ISI journals does not make me a failure. Not getting a huge research grant does not make me a failure. On the contrary, losing my focus in my teaching is going to make me a failure. And failing to contribute back to the industry or the society is going to make me a failure. People can judge me anyway they want. But if you are my friend, stand by me.
‘I don’t want them to change me….turn me into something I am not.’ Peeta Mellark – The Hunger Games.
Note: This piece is only my judgment on myself. It is not my right to judge others.