Friday, May 30, 2008

Life is Full of Surprises...

Forgive me my friends for not writing for quite some time. As I said before, time is moving so fast, I strain to maintain my pace. For the past few months, I've been bogged down with my work. Classes, exams and on top of that, my morning sickness. Yup, I am 5 months pregnant and now it is no more morning sickness, it's evening sickness. Well, what the baby wants, the baby gets, huh.

A few days ago, I was thinking about my hectic schedule and finally decided to reduce some of my teaching and administrative workload so that there will be more time with the family starting next semester. Well, it's not going to happen now, I guess. My husband told me last Friday that he will be sent to Brunei for a year for a company project. Upon hearing the news, I didn't know whether I should cry or laugh or scream. What should I do? Can I cope? How am I going to deliver the baby alone? (Let's be practical here, as much as I want my husband to be with me when I deliver the baby, deep in my heart I know that we can't really predict when the baby decide to face the world. And him being away in Brunei, hey who am I trying to kid, it will take time to book a flight ticket and to rush to my bedside.) Before I can even digest that information fully and accept the fact that we are going to be mom told me another shocking news..that my 17-year old cousin, Mohd Afiq Hadri who was vacationing with his family at The Orient Star Resort, Lumut had drowned in the swimming pool. He passed away just before Maghrib. And of course we then rushed to Seremban. Looking at my paklang and maklang's faces, I know how devastated they are with the lost of their beloved son. As for us, there's nothing that we can offer, except our prayers for Afiq. People speculate..of course they do. But I know paklang, and I know how protective he is with his children. And I believe, when it is time for a person to leave the world, there is nothing stopping him. As a Muslim, I believe in qada' and heaven and earth. Qada’ (decree) is Allah’s specifying how things will be, in pre-eternality, by His Will, in accordance with His Knowledge. Qadar (destiny) is Allah’s bringing into being through His Power, that which His Will specified. We can cry as much as we want, but it will never bring him back. And therefore, I pray for them to be strong..although I myself am not sure of my reactions if the same thing were to happen to me. Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Amin.

Ironically, that same Friday (6th of June) was actually my youngest daughter's birthday..Kamalia. We actually planned for a small family celebration, but it did not follow thru because the birth of Kamalia now signifies the death of her uncle Afiq. I think I will keep reminding her of the event so that she will remember him always. is full of surprises. And all the events of the day and the events that might take place after make me wonder further...will we regret not spending time with our beloved ones when death knocks on our doors?