Life is Full of Surprises...

Forgive me my friends for not writing for quite some time. As I said before, time is moving so fast, I strain to maintain my pace. For the past few months, I've been bogged down with my work. Classes, exams and on top of that, my morning sickness. Yup, I am 5 months pregnant and now it is no more morning sickness, it's evening sickness. Well, what the baby wants, the baby gets, huh.

A few days ago, I was thinking about my hectic schedule and finally decided to reduce some of my teaching and administrative workload so that there will be more time with the family starting next semester. Well, it's not going to happen now, I guess. My husband told me last Friday that he will be sent to Brunei for a year for a company project. Upon hearing the news, I didn't know whether I should cry or laugh or scream. What should I do? Can I cope? How am I going to deliver the baby alone? (Let's be practical here, as much as I want my husband to be with me when I deliver the baby, deep in my heart I know that we can't really predict when the baby decide to face the world. And him being away in Brunei, hey who am I trying to kid, it will take time to book a flight ticket and to rush to my bedside.) Before I can even digest that information fully and accept the fact that we are going to be separated...again...my mom told me another shocking news..that my 17-year old cousin, Mohd Afiq Hadri who was vacationing with his family at The Orient Star Resort, Lumut had drowned in the swimming pool. He passed away just before Maghrib. And of course we then rushed to Seremban. Looking at my paklang and maklang's faces, I know how devastated they are with the lost of their beloved son. As for us, there's nothing that we can offer, except our prayers for Afiq. People speculate..of course they do. But I know paklang, and I know how protective he is with his children. And I believe, when it is time for a person to leave the world, there is nothing stopping him. As a Muslim, I believe in qada' and qadar...in heaven and earth. Qada’ (decree) is Allah’s specifying how things will be, in pre-eternality, by His Will, in accordance with His Knowledge. Qadar (destiny) is Allah’s bringing into being through His Power, that which His Will specified. We can cry as much as we want, but it will never bring him back. And therefore, I pray for them to be strong..although I myself am not sure of my reactions if the same thing were to happen to me. Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Amin.

Ironically, that same Friday (6th of June) was actually my youngest daughter's birthday..Kamalia. We actually planned for a small family celebration, but it did not follow thru because the birth of Kamalia now signifies the death of her uncle Afiq. I think I will keep reminding her of the event so that she will remember him always.

Yes..life is full of surprises. And all the events of the day and the events that might take place after make me wonder further...will we regret not spending time with our beloved ones when death knocks on our doors?

The Act Of Being Sarcastic...

Have you ever come across individuals who always make sarcastic comments about almost everything? I have. Quite a few actually for the last 10, 15 years. I always wonder what makes a person do that. Is it because you secretly want certain things and therefore you envy people who have those things? Is it because you simply can't stand the sight of other people being happy? Or is it just because you are born with sarcasms?

Interestingly, most of these 'sarcastic individuals' seem to be so natural in being sarcastic. The sarcastic words just come out automatically as if on cue. They can't even praise you without being sarcastic first. And sometimes they smile while being sarcastic. I wonder are those compliments sincere then? How should one react to such situations? By smiling and by politely saying thank you? By agreeing with the sarcastic remarks? Or by pretending as if those sarcastic comments are something nice instead? I know..I know..I am using a lot of the 's' word here. It's just that, I couldn't find the perfect synonym for sarcasm or even sarcastic. Can you?

Sometimes you get people who don't have any intention to go any extra mile at all..but they are full of sarcasms. Wouldn't you feel like laughing? I mean..is there any logic in that? Think about it. You don't like doing it and yet you don't want others to snatch those opportunities from you. What do you expect? For the bounced ball to keep rolling back towards you everytime? Maybe it will..but believe me...it won't be forever. I believe individuals will always be given chances, but there are or course limits. Once you exceed the limit, your time is up. I am sure you have heard of this phrase.."grab it while you can...'

I guess if you ever in doubts, you might want to clarify by saying, 'excuse me, are you being sarcastic?' or 'I assume that you are being sarcastic' or somewhere between those lines. Hahaha. Now who is being sarcastic? At times you need to avoid being hurt by being sarcastic yourself. It's not revenge though. It's just getting even. Just like this Mrs Dot here:

I Finally Can Swim!!!

Ahah! After 33 years, I finally can swim! It began with Tuesday being so stressful for me.. On Wednesday morning, I felt so annoyed with things happening at home. And when I arrived at the office, there were so much work to complete that I ended up not doing anything. So, I decided to take a dip in the pool with K.Ana. Just to cool off. Dr Murali said I was losing my focus..so no sense to continue working there. Yup! I wanted to practice anyway because by Saturday my young instructor would definitely want to see some improvements. She always said..'you need to practice..that will make the process of learning faster.' I always nodded my head..nod, nod, nod..of course, I understand that. I am a lecturer..hahaha. But, I just couldn't find the time. Alasan.

When we arrived, the pool was quite empty. The feeling of those cool water all over me gave a very soothing feeling. It calmed me. In the beginning I started my breast stroke like before...three strokes and breathed, three strokes and breathed...Then I saw K.Ana doing her breast stroke..so gracefully. She told me to find the rhythm. I had nothing better to do...so I tried. One stroke and breathed..one stroke and breathed. All the time my mind was humming the rhythm for my body to follow. The power of your mind can sometimes amazes you. When I was in Missouri last time, I wanted to learn roller blading. The first time I tried, I couldn't even balanced myself even to stand still for a few seconds. I was practising with my husband in front of his house. I managed to slid under his feet everytime I tried to stand. The people in the cars that went by his house were my witnesses. They honked at me! Somebody shouted encouraging words to me though. Thank you. God bless you. For the next few days, I remembered playing with my mind, imagining myself standing up while wearing my blades..and, guess what? The next time I tried, I was a natural. That experience was really amazing. Wow.

Well...I guess that was what happened with my swimming. After 1/2 hour of mind training, I finally did it. Congratulations to me. Hahaha. It felt great!