PIBG oh PIBG...

Tonight I attended my first PIBG (Persatuan Ibubapa dan Guru or Parents and Teachers Association) meeting. It was a new territory for me..kind of embarrassing to be so out of loop in the discussion. I was so far behind because I never attended any PIBG AGM (Annual General Meeting) for the past 2 years because I was away, studying for my PhD. So, the last AGM (that was in January), I decided to come. I dunno what happened, but somehow I got elected as one of the AJK (ahli jawatankuasa or committee members). Which literally means, more work for me. It's hard enough to juggle my day schedule, now I will have meetings at night. My parents are of course jumping with joy when they heard the news. Having previously worked as teachers, both of them see this election as an opportunity to make a difference for my children. As for me, I have my own doubts. Although my husband is willing to take care of the kids during my night meetings, the intellectual support I get from him is almost nil. He is an IT person and his life is just his work..back and forth. Nothing more, nothing less. No more thinking after office hours. In the 10 years that I have been married to him, I can count the intellectual discussions that I had with him.

Most of the AJK have worked together before. Many have been re-elected. So they know each other well. Most are quite veterans..and they seemed to have made up their minds on certain things already tonight. Felt like I was the youngest parent there (more in terms of my experience as opposed to my age - though I always feel young..hehehe) and I was having this awkward feeling..butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't helped myself from feeling a bit low in terms of my self-esteem. I kept thinking, 'they are just waiting to see me do something foolish so that they can laugh.' God help me. I hope I will be able to do something good. My credibility is at stake here. If I fail, indirectly my children will also feel the impact. The teachers will know about my failure. And then, how will they perceive our family? What shud I do? What shud I do? What will you do if you were in my shoes?